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Nana Fina · a Mexican grandmother of five Respect Yourself First
For anyone past 65 who gave their family everything

You gave them your whole life. Now the phone rings on your birthday, and the doctor asks your son how you are.

I'm Josefina, Nana Fina to my fourteen grandchildren. I'm 82. I came to this country at seventeen with a cardboard suitcase, worked with my hands my whole life, raised five children and buried my husband. Some of you asked me to write down what I learned about keeping your dignity when your own family starts deciding for you. Here it is: twenty rules. Your doctor, the papers they want you to sign, the money they borrow, your will, your car keys, your house, and the respect you have to ask for out loud. Warm, honest, and a little bossy.

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Respect Yourself First, by Nana Fina
How it works

Three steps. No mail, no waiting.

  1. You pay once, on a secure checkout page. No subscription.
  2. The book opens on the page that comes up right after. Tap it and it opens like a photograph does.
  3. You save the files on your phone, tablet or computer, and print the pages you want. The download page works for 30 days.
Free with the book

FREENana's Dichos
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FREEThe Letters You Never Sent

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Plus 2 printables to keep in your kitchen drawer

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I. If you have felt even one of these

You are not difficult. You are not ungrateful. You are a grown woman who still has a life.

"Respect starts with you. You cannot make your children respect you. But you can respect yourself first, and that changes how everybody treats you."
II. What's inside

20 rules in five parts. Each one starts with something that happened in my family, and ends with your rule for this week.

Part 1 · Respect Starts With You (4 rules)

My birthday and the phone that rang twice, the Thanksgiving I ended up at the little table, the Saturday I said no, and forgiving the young mother I was.

Part 2 · Your House, Your Money, Your Doctor (6 rules)

What the privacy law says about your doctor and your children, the paper Daniel brought "just in case," Luisito's loan, why I still wear my old coat to Mass, the will in the drawer, and the car keys.

Part 3 · Alone and Whole (4 rules)

When the casseroles stop coming, a table for one set for company, "Mom, it's time to think about a place," and Tuesdays with the rosary ladies.

Part 4 · Respect Out Loud (4 rules)

At my grandson's wedding they sat me by the kitchen door, lipstick for the pharmacy, the fall I didn't tell anybody about, and the cardboard suitcase.

Part 5 · Faith and the Old Ways (2 rules)

The rosary I pray for Miguel, and why my grandsons wash dishes at my house.

At the back: the numbers to keep in your purse. Where the book gives a law or a number, it says who it comes from: the federal health privacy office, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, the National Institute on Aging, the courts' own national center, published studies. My mother's sayings are in Spanish and in English.

III. The questions you don't say out loud

The ones that come at the kitchen table, late.

IV. What this book isn't

Not a book of complaints about children. Not a prayer book. Not legal advice.

I tell you what my children did, and I tell you what I did too, because I was not a perfect mother. My faith is in here, because it is in my life, but you do not have to be Catholic, or Mexican, to read it. And I am not a lawyer or a doctor. Where it touches your papers, your money or your health, I tell you what I learned and who said it, and then I tell you to talk to your own lawyer or your own doctor. Your own. Alone.

What usually happens
  • You wait by the phone
  • You sign so nobody gets upset
  • You lend, and it never comes back
  • You swallow it, and carry it for years
What this book shows you
  • How to call short and sweet, and live your day
  • What a power of attorney really does
  • How to say no with love, once
  • How to ask for respect out loud, calmly
V. Who wrote it

A grandmother who learned respect late, and wants you to learn it sooner.

I'm Fina. I picked, I packed, I sewed and I cleaned other people's houses. I was married to Ernesto for fifty-four years, in a little house with a lemon tree, where I still live. My five children are Rosa, Miguel, Tere, Daniel and Luis, and I love each of them in a different way. I pray the rosary every night. And at eighty-two I finally understood what my mother tried to tell me at seventeen.

You raised them. Now raise yourself.

VI. The e-book

Pay once. Read it today, on any device. Print the pages you want.

$49.99$27

$49.99 is the regular price. $27 is the launch price, while the book grows.

This is an e-book, a digital download. Nothing is printed or mailed.

  • 20 rules in five parts, and the numbers to keep in your purse
  • Plus 2 printables, free (worth $24)

  • A PDF laid out like a book in large, easy type, and an EPUB for e-readers, tablets and phones
  • Download page right after payment, good for 30 days
  • No copy protection, on all your devices
  • Pay once. No subscription.
Get the e-book · $27
VII. Questions

Before you ask

Is this a printed book?

No. It's an e-book: a PDF and an EPUB you download right after you pay. Nothing comes in the mail. You can make the letters as big as you like on a screen, or print the pages you want.

I'm not Mexican. Is this for me?

Yes. My family is Mexican-American, so my stories are too. But a mother is a mother and a power of attorney is a power of attorney in every language.

Is it very Catholic?

My faith is in it, because I pray the rosary every night. But it is not a prayer book, and every rule works whatever you believe.

Is it a good gift for my mother or grandmother?

Yes. Many of the rules are things a daughter or son can't say to their mother without a fight. An abuela can.

I'm not good with computers. Will I manage?

After you pay, a page opens with the book on it. You press it and it opens. Bookmark that page or save the files, so a grandchild or a neighbor can help you open them or print them later.

Are these just the videos written down?

No. A video tells one story in a few minutes. The book has all twenty rules, the practical steps, the facts with their sources, and your rule for each week.

Is it legal, medical or financial advice?

No. Where it gives a fact, it names who it comes from, and it tells you to talk to your own lawyer or doctor about your own case. If you are in danger, call 911. In a crisis in the United States, call or text 988.

Is Nana Fina a real person?

Nana Fina is a character. Her stories draw on the experiences of many long lives, told through one grandmother so they read like a talk at her kitchen table. The facts in the book are real, and each one was checked against the source it comes from.

What if I don't like it?

Write to us at the address at the bottom of this page within 48 hours of your purchase and you'll get your money back.

The last page

Put the phone down for a minute, mija. Put on your earrings. Call one person, short and sweet. Then pick one rule.

Twenty rules from a grandmother who learned them late. Start with the one that makes your heart jump.

Get the e-book · $27